Justifiable Homicide

You would think that 9am almost 10am is early....not for me, not today. I haven't been to bed yet. Or should I say that I haven't been to sleep yet. WHY? Well, let's see....my husband fell asleep on the couch last night while I was watching Sex in the City. I decided to wake him up at 11pm to go to bed because I knew that Reyna bean would be wanting to eat soon and I didn't want her to have to scream for it while I was screaming at him to get off the couch. You see....while I'm hard to wake up in the mornings, he's hard to wake up at night. We have gotten into some of our worse fights because I tried to wake him up to go to bed. (Ever see the Three Stooges? When Curly was snoring and Moe smacks him and says "wake up, go to sleep" It's the same thing) Get Up, go to bed. He gets so pissy so usually I just leave him on the couch. BUT for some un-godly reason I decided to get him up so that he would get a good nights rest and guess what? He actually got up!!! I was surprised, then I regretted it. Here I am at 11:30 at night and I have Reyna nursing on one side of me, and Jason snoring in my ear on the other side. I finally get her off me, made him roll over and just settle in to a good nights sleep and someone breaks into my room. I should have known. Was it a mass murderer? I would have welcomed that more than who it actually was I think. Who was it? None other than my 2 yr old menace to society yelling "mom mom, mom mom" (why can't he call me mommy?) I get up and he gets pissed. He apparently wanted to sleep in my bed too....no way in hell mister sister. So I get the bedroom door shut so that his wailing doesn't get anyone else up....can you imagine the din when Reyna & Stryder are both screaming and then Jason starts screaming for them to shut up? Yeah, it's not pretty...because then I have to start screaming for him to shut up. At any rate, I get Stryder another cup of milk and tuck him (and his lizard) back into HIS bed. I never had to cover up a lizard before...so it took a few minutes of him readjusting the blanket to his satisfaction before I could go back to bed. That was short lived. While I getting Stryder situated apparently the snore monster returned. It took another few minutes of me pushing on him before he rolled back over. By this time, Reyna decided that she wasn't done eating and goes back to...well let's just say that when she's tired and I'm tired we can't seem to get it right....can you imagine how bad it sounds when I say "Can't you just put it in your mouth and suck it like a normal person?" Wow I need to get more sleep I think. So we go round and round and finally she gets enough to put her back to sleep and I can go to sleep. LOL, yeah right. Once again the mass murderer would have been a better choice (I wouldn't be awake ya know) but Stryder appeared with his two blankets, and 6 lizards this time...and apparently he was going to dig his heels in until I changed my mind....too bad he doesn't have my stubborness, or ability to pick me up...because I won that battle too. It just took longer than I thought. So here we are and it's now 3am and I haven't closed my eyes yet. And the snore monster is back. Now, Jason has been going to work early lately BUT hasn't changed his habit of making the alarm clock go off a whole HOUR before he needs to get up...so guess what? A mere 30 minutes of me tossing and turning trying to get to sleep amist all the noise (really did he swallow a freight train?) and his alarm clock starts dinging. I could kill him...really. Not a jury in the world would convict me. I mean, come on...every 9 minutes it goes off and he hits the mute button and starts snoring again. Who can go to sleep that fast? Apparently not me. Finally, he gets up (thank GOD) and shuts off the 9 minute offender...and Reyna wakes up to eat. Typical. I feed her thinking that maybe I can go to sleep while she's nursing...but I can't find a good position that keeps her latched on and that doesn't hurt my back. So I wait until she's done to go to sleep...I mean it's only 5:00am there's still 5 hours before the rest of the brood wakes up. That's plenty of rest. I'm living in a fantasy world...and there is NO wizard to grant me my wishes. So Reyna is done eating, I just get into a comfortable position when in walks my murderer...no such luck it's just Stryder AGAIN. What is this boy's problem? And why can't he go somewhere else to have it? "mom mom, wet." Lovely, he's soaked from head to toe (my fault for that extra cup last night - does it count as last night when you haven't gone to sleep yet?) I get a fresh pull-up, more milk and change him....I tuck him and the dang lizards into my bed (which is what he wanted in the first place) and finally I can lay down. Sleep? Fuck no. What's sleep? Now I have Stryder burping on one side and Reyna nursing on the other. How did this happen? (yes I know, you don't have to tell me) I lay down, and Stryder's feet are in my back and Reyna decided that she can't sleep unless she's right up against me. So I can't sleep because she might suffocate. Not that I didn't try to put her in the bassinet, I did like 4 times. BUT I NEED TO GET SOME SLEEP. And I'm hot...it's freakin' 50 degrees outside and I'm sweating...how is that even possible? So, I decide that I can lay with my head at the foot of the bed and be cooler while still fullfilling Reyna's need to be next to me. Apparently, she didn't care what I thought. At this point I decided that sleep was a precious commodity that I was no longer entitled too. So I grab the screaming baby before she wakes Stryder and go out to the living room. And I'm back to where I started at....sitting on the couch watching Sex in the City and thinking....I could kill him....I really could.